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Lacuna's OptionTitle Lacuna's Option There were times when he could look at her and not recognize her, then she would smile at him and it would all come rushing back. She'd changed a lot since he'd first met her - she'd grown up for a start - but he'd always thought there was a connection there that could never be broken. Just lately it seemed as though he didn't know her at all. Of course they'd all gone their own ways, and that had been good for all of them, but whenever they came back together it was like they'd never been apart. Except for Dawn. She was flowering, growing more confident every time he saw her, more... alive. Xander frowned, just a little, where had that thought come from? The room grew silent and he realized everyone was looking at him, waiting for him. Obviously someone had asked him something and he hadn't been paying attention. He shook himself out of his thoughts and grinned, some things never changed. He watched her leave the room, saw how the others turned to watch her go, and wondered where she came from. All of them wondering just why she was here when she hadn't come last time, she hadn't spoken, there had been no anecdotes, no tales of exploits out in the wider world. She had just sat in the corner, listening. She turned and smiled at him again and he colored a little at having been caught staring. He looked away. Mealtimes tended to be a free-for-all when the whole group got together. There was no point standing on ceremony with people he'd known most of his life, but when Dawn arrived, everything stopped. A whisper started from the corner of the room, where the younger girls were gathered in a mutual-support group, all watching Dawn with curious eyes. He thought he saw them ask each other who she was. But that was ridiculous, she was Dawn, she was one of the core group, she was... She was Dawn. He noticed she didn't stick around. She finished her meal - meatloaf - and left quickly. Almost the instant she left the room the conversation levels rose and normality - or as near normality as this lot got - resumed. There was something about her that was changing people, he wondered if she knew. She had rested her hand on his shoulder as she'd passed and he told the girls who she was when they shyly asked him moments later. Once he'd finished his own meal he heard them asking each other if they'd ever heard of Dawn before. He smiled a little sadly. There were questions asked about her in every room, why was she here, who was she with, and no one seemed content with the answers. Identification by committee. And like every committee ever formed, they couldn't agree on any single thing. Dawn breezed through it all apparently carefree, but Xander knew it would be hurting her. With the day done, and with the endless conversations winding down, he made his excuses and went back to his room. He wasn't surprised to find her waiting for him.
"They're already forgetting me." Hours later he lies awake and strokes her hair. He holds onto the memories, she told him he wouldn't forget, but there are still those times when he looks at her and barely recognizes her as the girl he knew. She stirs beside him and he knows she's awake. He drops a kiss onto the top of her head and knows he will always recognize her no matter what. She turns to look up at him and smiles once more. She'll always be Dawn. all these moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. |